SIGNS IT’S A BAD DAY
— You wake up on pavement.
— You can’t find the clothes you wore home from the party.
— Your twin forgets your birthday.
— You wake up to discover your waterbed broke, and then remember you don’t have a waterbed.
— You wake up with your mouth guard stuck, and then remember you don’t wear a mouth guard.
— Your blind date turns out to be your ex-husband.
— You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
— Your wife says, «Good morning, Bill» and your name is George